The World in My Mind: August 2015

Hello, I'm here to brag about my night out like more than a week ago. But I loved it. I mean I think actually they didn't intend to ask me to join. I mean I was there as a replacement. I always am. I'm the unimportant girl. Nobody would ask me out. Nobody would care if I'm exist or not.
So one of my friend asked me because someone from the gang wasn't available. I said yes. Yeah, I was so pathetic. But you know what, I said yes because I didn't know that I was a replacement.
I joined them, we departed together from our institute by motorbike. I rode with bitter feeling. I had felt that it would be a bad idea. But turned out I was wrong. They actually recognized me, or so did I feel.
So here are the photos we took from there. It's Surabaya Night Carnival. I enjoyed the ride, thanks guys. And please don't tell anybody about my scream LOL :D

Well, you know what today is?

Yeah 3rd August!!! FYI, August is my favorite month because I feel that almost miracles happened to me at this month. This year I hope to get more miracles too.^^

I would like to say that it's exciting and terrifying at the same time. Exciting because I'm an adult now and I can do whatever I want to do. Terrifying because it's like I'm not ready.

Yeah, you read it right. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to become an adult. It's like a big task full of risks and I can fail anytime. I don't want to disappoint anyone. All this time many responsible adults surrounded me. I realize that I can't be as patient and as kind as my mother or as persistent and as diligent as my father.

I realize that I grew up wrongly. I'm an adult but I'm still clumsy. I'm an adult but I always feel awkward near other adults. I'm an adult but I can't start a conversation with other adults. I'm an adult but I still get into a fight with my brothers over small things. I'm an adult but I still will run to the dining table. I'm an adult but I don't how to act like one.

If only there's a manual book of becoming an adult I would like to read it. Well, how can you let someone like me become an adult. I can't even stand a loveline, gah :'(

But what makes me more at ease is that my parents always treat me the same. My mom still likes to whisper she loves me and kisses me three times. My dad still likes to nag at me because I'm so immature and gives me money when I never ask for it. They even still call me 'Dede'. Sometimes I think maybe that is the reason why I can't grow up maturely.

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Well---- enough with the melancholy.

At least I'm happy today because my dad took me on the trip to his workplace. Well, it's been a year since he moved to Banyuwangi. He used to work in Probolinggo. With the distance my father just comes home once a week. He will be at home on Saturday and depart the next day because he has to work on Monday. It must be tired for him but he still do it because he needs it to feed the family.

Maybe because it's my birthday he took me, or maybe because he didn't want me to spend my holiday sleeping all day.

Instead of taking the shortest way, we took the pantura line. He said that not much to see on southern line. Well I'm happy because I rarely travel east. Yeah, my relatives mostly lives on the western part of java island and it should take a long journey.

Thanks Pah, it's a precious gift to me. A birthday trip.

So here's the pic I if you're curious how it's like to drive to Banyuwangi via Jalur Pantura hehehe :D

And please ignore my messy outfit hehe I didn't even shower wkwk :p