Hello!!
I’m back … for just several minutes… I’m trying to escape my
routine and write. Next week is midterm and I don’t think that I can handle it.
Because I feel that I don’t really absorb the subjects.
I’m tired, I’m bored, and I’m done. I feel like it’s time
for me to step back a little and start a peaceful life. But I’ve chosen this
path. I can’t be irresponsible because it’s not just about me. It’s about what
have my friends mandated to me. It isn’t as simple as I’ve imagined. In my
darkest night I’ve been thinking about resignation. Yeah, how about I resign
from whatever position I’m in. But if I did that, it means I’m a coward. It
means that I’m a pathetic human being.
So here I am, still trying to figure out how to stay active
yet energetic. Staying up late is starting to become my new hobby. I do the homework
in the night and sleep when the sun goes up. Don’t worry I’m not a person who
hates panda eyes. In my opinion panda eyes make a girl looks more intelligent.
I try to control myself so that I don’t rant directly to my
friends and my family. Because compare to what they’ve been fighting mine is
nothing. However the only thing I supposed to do is studying, right? The others
are just my improvisation. My friends always think that I’m the strongest one
because I’ve never say my true feelings to them. I’ve never said that all the
tasks make me tired.
Well, I want to admit that sometimes they (my friends) are
my place to escape. They are the train that takes me out of my boring
activities. Whenever I’m with them I always forget that I still have homework
or quizzes or paper. From them, I learnt how to live the moments instead of
worrying of tomorrow.
Then I remember my family everytime I check my phone. I still
have my family, my biggest supporters. It feels like some of the weight is lifted
up when I hear my mom voice. It feels that my energy is topped up when I hear
about my father latest news. It feels that I have thousands of supporters when
my brothers send me messages.
In the end, I should keep my spirit up. I have every reason
to stay strong. No matter how hard it is, it will end soon. Every fight is
worth it J
