You should stay strong :)

Hello!!

I’m back … for just several minutes… I’m trying to escape my routine and write. Next week is midterm and I don’t think that I can handle it. Because I feel that I don’t really absorb the subjects.

I’m tired, I’m bored, and I’m done. I feel like it’s time for me to step back a little and start a peaceful life. But I’ve chosen this path. I can’t be irresponsible because it’s not just about me. It’s about what have my friends mandated to me. It isn’t as simple as I’ve imagined. In my darkest night I’ve been thinking about resignation. Yeah, how about I resign from whatever position I’m in. But if I did that, it means I’m a coward. It means that I’m a pathetic human being.

So here I am, still trying to figure out how to stay active yet energetic. Staying up late is starting to become my new hobby. I do the homework in the night and sleep when the sun goes up. Don’t worry I’m not a person who hates panda eyes. In my opinion panda eyes make a girl looks more intelligent.

I try to control myself so that I don’t rant directly to my friends and my family. Because compare to what they’ve been fighting mine is nothing. However the only thing I supposed to do is studying, right? The others are just my improvisation. My friends always think that I’m the strongest one because I’ve never say my true feelings to them. I’ve never said that all the tasks make me tired.

Well, I want to admit that sometimes they (my friends) are my place to escape. They are the train that takes me out of my boring activities. Whenever I’m with them I always forget that I still have homework or quizzes or paper. From them, I learnt how to live the moments instead of worrying of tomorrow.  

Then I remember my family everytime I check my phone. I still have my family, my biggest supporters. It feels like some of the weight is lifted up when I hear my mom voice. It feels that my energy is topped up when I hear about my father latest news. It feels that I have thousands of supporters when my brothers send me messages.

In the end, I should keep my spirit up. I have every reason to stay strong. No matter how hard it is, it will end soon. Every fight is worth it J